The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote

Hot, cold, wise, dumb, piss poor or set, been up and down, here there all around lost in time. Been so real, so fake, so scared still, so mad enuf to kill, so weak, so strong, i win, i lose pity the fool. some love, some hate, some don't giva fuck if i make or break. so hurt i'm numb sometimes wanna feel sum... hard to cry out to anyone about anything not even God himself. If i do the pain hard to maintain or just a wack PETA commercial, that's 2 tears in a bucket and u know the rest but i digress. U know me my friend like we luv everybody but don't get to close cause i die hard for few heck loving myself ain't always easy to do. cried long and hard and though i am tired of bn alone its kept me strong so i go along tryna do the math and no ph call cause err i dont know what to say no mo. how u been? oh good got plans to build a spaceship but im no rocket scientist like kanye so still fucked up in the game trying to free my mind and soul in jesus name.... see i'm not depressed well hmm maybe a lil but more pressed to find the reasons for this season and the next clue cuz the shit out order out here...it don't add up...love is down and hate is up but we dividing by probability. Nah, im calm... just tryna howl at a new moon. The daze is crazy. Ever wish u could hear God's voice without dying? I do. Like, at the stroke of midnight drama but (and you crying) mama said there'll be days like this. I miss my heart and everyone and everything buried in it. Gone to soon most of u and you, I didnt getta chance to say goodbye, and you, you shoulda told us you were dying inside...sigh...and you...ahhh Grandma, i shoulda spent more ticks but i wont make the same mistake with your daughter this time and oh yea I hate that she sick. I aint lyin...Lord, one real hug from u whilst I'm, we all here on earth would hold us down for years like a rebirth cause sometimes prayers feel like an echo. Where they going? And can souls hear us? Dear you, down here or up here (depending on where u at) is organized chaos with a beautiful back drop, the good are dying, the evil are multiplying and ppl walking around asking the wrong questions. Sincerely, Somebody. I love and hate this shit all at the same time and oddly enough that's enough balance to keep me sane. psshh i'm rambling and i prolly need to but then again who's listening? Fuck the writings on the wall. That's always a gamble and whoever turns up i don't care cuz cest la vie. I'm me.